Eight Hundred and fifty million murders every year.

Every single one of them are family I hold dear.

So in my hands, I have for you very special gift;

His name is Mr Hatchet, and his justice will be swift.

Yes, patience is a virtue but it's time to set things right;

Rest assured that human blood is gonna flow tonight.

A Bain-Marie in a fast-food store ain't no promised land.

So now the line has been drawn clearly into the sand.

In the battle against evil, I will release the berserker rage;

to emancipate my pheasant friends from their death-row prison cage.

Once your limbs are severed, you'll be no competitor.

I am your worst nightmare; the alpha-apex predator.

The phantom pheasant saviour;

Redeemer of all poultry.

Justice and liberation,

in a world where chickens roam free.

I'm the Poultry Punisher;

Spreading fear throughout the land.

Coz there's Vengeance in my heart.

And death within my hand.